I ACCEPT WHO I AM WITH GRACE: Group Discussion Guide from Week 3 of REFRESH!

39-Week Life Rediscovery Course to Regain, Restore, and Reignite Your Life Because There is Life After COVID!

By Debra R. Thomas of livelifered.com

Objective: To Learn to bring wellness into my life by easing up on myself.

Key Points:

Seven New Paradigms:

(Open Discussion: Do we accept or reject each paradigm?)

Paradigm 1: I am not anywhere near perfection, and now I can ___________.

Paradigm 2: I won’t ever be enough in everyone’s eyes, and now I will let go of the fear of what they think, say, or do.

Paradigm 3: I explore grace as a vehicle to be kind and gentle to myself as I move about through life.

Paradigm 4: Positive behavior reinforcement through positive emotion can help make healthy habits stick.

Paradigm 5: New activities and behaviors offer opportunities for growth with coping tools for difficult situations to survive in a world of craziness no matter what.

Paradigm 6: Finding happiness means finding ways to tap into the grace that surrounds me every day.

Paradigm 7: There are plenty of opportunities for grace in the modern world, even if I have to search for them.

Pursue wellness with fresh optimism and positivity.

(Open Discussion: Is it possible to freshen optimism and positivity?)

Point 1: It’s always possible to get back up yourself.

Point 2: You can do little things each day to build yourself up, mentally and physically, to ensure that you continue to thrive.

Point 3: Instead of feeling bad about yourself on a difficult day, realize that it is normal to feel this way and stay motivated and engaged in your goals.

Point 4: Suppose you are having a bad day. Remember, the sun always comes up in the morning, and you can hold grace for yourself until then.

What is grace? (Share and discuss your definitions of grace)

Google the term grace

(Open Discussion: Do we accept, reject, or add to this definition?)

These are the definitions you will find

• unmerited divine assistance
• mercy or pardon
• ease and suppleness
• simple elegance and refinement of movement

Explore grace as a vehicle to be kind and gentle to yourself as you travel through your days

(Open Discussion: Are you comfortable with the following ideas? Why or why not?)

• It is easier to be hard than give yourself grace when you make a mistake or feel imperfect.
• Everyone seems to have a list of the most recent mistakes they have made, but do they have a list of the lessons that they have learned in life from those mistakes?
• The second you come down on yourselves, it becomes even harder to change course and take the little steps necessary to change your behavior.
• That is where grace comes in.

Giving yourself grace can help you make small, sustainable changes that help support your long-term goals, mental health, and well-being.

(Open Discussion: Read and then share your reactions to the ideas below.)

Idea 1: It is vital to find grace in the areas of our life where we face our most complex challenges.

• You can find comfort in grace as you create a plan to pull yourself out of the complex challenges you face.
• Many fail when setting resolutions only because they disregard creating a step-by-step plan to get to them.
• Making a change within the name of grace allows you the small ounce of hope and self-belief required to begin to curb appetites and establish better habits for yourself.
• Grace holds you up during your baby steps towards change and greater self-acceptance.
• Focus on the habits that will help get you to what you want instead of feeling entitled and that you deserve what you want right now.
• There is glory in the journey traveled with grace.

Idea 2: Happiness is a mindset.

• How we think about the details of our lives is the key factor in happiness.
• Adding more human and spiritual connections brings happiness.
• Adding more gratitude brings happiness.
• Opening yourself up to the world brings happiness.
• Within each of these things beyond yourself, you will find grace.
• If you seek happiness first, you may never see it, but you will discover joy in your journey if you seek grace.

Idea 3: Habits to obtain grace

• Small behaviors
• Repeatable behaviors
• Easy enough to do
• Celebrate each small step towards grace

Idea 4: Small habits have the potential to bring joy each time you do them.

• Here are a few suggestions for ways in which you might embrace more grace within those everyday moments of your life and simultaneously develop more robust and healthier habits:
• These activities connect you to the present moment in the real world and help you shake up your perspectives, traditions, and even thought patterns to make room for new and positive experiences.
• The critical thing about all of these activities is that they help get you out of your head.
• The magic within each activity is to celebrate the moment you do them.
• These activities reinforce positive behavior through positive emotion and help make habits stick.
• These new activities and behaviors also offer you new ways to cope with being “okay” in this crazy world, no matter what circumstances arise.

Ideas To Try:

(Open Discussion: As your group reads through each experiment, share if you have personal experiences relating to them).

Experiment 1: Begin your morning on a more peaceful note:

Skip your usual reaching out for your phone when you first awake and instead read a short passage from a book.

Pick something that you would consider meditative to set the tone for the day.

You will find your mind to be incredibly open to positive suggestions in the morning.

Overwhelming yourself with morning news and social media could stir anxiety and set you up for a stressful morning.

Try different approaches.

Experiment 2: Learn the benefits of intentional breathing:

Sit someplace comfortable.

Become intensely focused on your breathing; following it in and out.

Observe what happens next.

Were you able to follow it?

Was it relaxing?

Whatever your response, celebrate that you followed your breathing for one complete round.

Experiment 3: Try fast-sweep cleaning:

If you are experiencing overwhelm in your house?

Start with just one area and “fast-sweep” clean.

Put on your favorite song and play it at high volume as you sing and clean one room.

Stop cleaning when the song is over.

You have accomplished one thing and have done it well. Celebrate!

Experiment 4: Step out and sense nature:

Have you been inside tied to an important task all day?

Step outside your door for a breath of fresh air and see how that changes your outlook.

Pay special attention to the nature surrounding you and how your individual senses “sense” nature.

What do you see, feel, and hear?

Each step you take deserves a grand celebration.

Experiment 5: Rediscover the magic of music:

Don’t be afraid to play your music at total volume.

Sound waves have the power to affect us through our ears and also our bodies and minds.

Taking time to listen to a song at top volume can change your perspective on your day.

It can change attitudes, feelings, and actions.

Allow the music to move you.

Experiment 6: Wash your stress and negative vibes right down the drain:

Take a shower.

Take a bath.

Next time you are battling with your emotions, head to the bathroom.

Close the door.

Turn on the water.

Get in.

Begin to focus on the sound and feel of the water on your body.

Enjoy its warmth (or coolness).

As you turn off the water or drain the tub, imagine that your heavy emotions are drifting away as the water runs down the drain.

Experiment 7: Hone in on your sense of touch to break poor food choices:

When you reach for food that is unhealthy for you, first reach out and touch some food that you consider to be healthy and discover the results.

Within the timeframe that you reach for something, your desire for the unhealthy thing will disappear.

Experiment 8: Find one good thing and write it down:

Although you may not want to start a journal, find a place to write down just one good thing.

You can begin by writing down something you are grateful for or just something interesting that you heard during the day.

Keep it real!

After you write it, reread it to relive that experience and feel the emotion of that experience.

Experiment 9: Sleep it out!

Don’t be afraid to revert to the child in you when you feel that a nap would help you cope better in a stressful moment.

Just curl up with a soft blanket and a pillow and go for it.

Sleep allows your body and your mind time to restore energy.

Set your alarm for 30 minutes for a quick power nap to restore you to your healthy and happy self.

Experiment 10: Reframe your brain

Are you struggling with your emotions due to something that set you off?

Change your perspective-literally!

Lie on the floor.

Bend over and touch your toes.

Do some yoga stretches and breath.

Change your perspective-mentally

Try to look at the same event from many viewpoints.

Role-play a different person from a scene that has caused you recent stress.

Practice finding many perspectives within one incidence of your life.

Open Discussion: Which quote is the most difficult to relate to? Why?

Changing attitudes requires you to get out of your head to see the big picture; this is great for pulling yourself out of feeling stuck.

Finding happiness means finding ways to tap into the grace that surrounds us every day.

There are plenty of opportunities to find grace for yourself and others in the modern world, even if you might have to look harder.

Experiment 11: Try Anchor Training:

An anchor is something familiar from your surroundings that you attach a secondary meaning to remind you to do or not do a specific action.

These anchors will be like your accountability partner as you work towards self-discovery in the next 30 days.

They interrupt your current train of thought.

They infuse you with motivational energy.

It reminds you of the creative spark you felt when you initially set your goal.

Now, think of familiar things within your surroundings that we can use as anchors to attach to your motivational factors.

These anchors will help to hold you to your target goals.

Open Discussion: Each person shares a takeaway from this discussion.

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